Social media does depict a completely different, perfect universe, the polar opposite of the flawed one we live in. Amazingly wrapped gifts, perfect dinner tables and families having an absolutely amazing time. These images easily make you think back and wish that your Christmas looked better. Many a time we miss the fact that these images on social media are highlights and not the general reality. It’s never constant. Nevertheless, we are all constantly trying to achieve that perfection that we are constantly fed on social media.
Let us change that. This holiday season, let’s try and gift ourselves and our families a benchmark that is flawed but beautiful and a celebration that they can genuinely live and enjoy rather than click and save for a nostalgic appeal later.
Letting Go of Perfect Parent Pressure
Christmas does bring the pressure of needing everything to be perfect. Pinterest, Instagram, Facebook and others bombard you with pictures from around the world that have perfection written all over them in vibrant and joyous appeal. All this can feel a little overwhelming at times and it easily translates into stress, comparison and a loss of energy. The theory of social comparison states that, in general, people tend to evaluate themselves by comparing their situations with others and when it comes to holidays, measuring yourself against someone who has it better can really spill the milk on the Christmas spirit.
We mostly neglect what goes behind that perfect picture that you see on social media. That perfect picture was chosen from 20 other pictures that were not quite right. Then the chosen picture was filtered, edited and captioned to perfection. That carefully chosen photo does not describe or help you judge your entire season. The unedited bits do and social media cannot show you that.
There is already so much that parents juggle during holidays that matching the perfect pictures on instagram for christmas is the last thing that they need to do. You need to choose your own version of Christmas and it needs to be one that makes you happy and satisfied and fits correctly in your definition of the Christmas spirit. This starts with leaving the notion of perfection and the world of social media behind.
Adjusting Expectations: What “Successful Holidays” Really Mean
Start by describing what your perfect holiday feels like in your head. You will find yourself thinking of warm connections and a balanced schedule. Tools like familymind can help you note down the list of things you have to do and set reminders in order for you to accomplish your version of a perfect Christmas. Here are a few questions that you need to ask yourself to determine if you are moving in the right direction:
- Is it presence more than presentation?
- Is it connection more than coordination?
- Is it laughter more than lightning?
Revamping your standards does not mean that you are lowering them. It simply means that you have your own set of values and you are building around them instead of having to follow someone else’s version of Christmas on instagram. This will bring you better satisfaction and allow you to prioritize your values above the mere aesthetics and idea of chasing online validation.
Setting Boundaries to Protect Your Peace
The best way to deal with this type of stress that arises from comparing yourself with someone else’s version of Christmas is to simply keep your phone down. Set boundaries for yourself and what you see. Social media algorithms are engineered to keep you scrolling endlessly. As you do that, you will come across people who you think have it better, and you will compare. Limit your social media use and remind yourself to keep your phone down after a set time. Do the same for other members of your family and spend more time with the family than on the phone.
Here are a few boundary ideas that you might find helpful:
- Screen-free meal times: focus on family connection and keep the phone aside
- App time limits: use familymind to assign times for social media rather than unrestricted scrolling.
- Curate your feed: tailor your feed to only consume the best parts of social media.
- Tech-free zones at home are spaces where presence is more important than posts.
The goal isn’t to remove social media from your life entirely but it is to limit what you are consuming and for how long.
Reframing What “Successful Holidays” Actually Look Like
Success cannot be measured by how shiny and polished your pictures look. It is the moments that you spend with those you love that matter the most. The laughter around the table and the quiet moments that are spent just appreciating everyone’s presence make you feel warm inside.
By redefining your holiday’s success, you will now find yourself celebrating your Christmas in your own way and not according to someone else’s curated album on instagram or pinterest. Enjoy your Christmas for the spirit it brings and not for the likes and shares that you will get on social media with a perfect album of pictures.
How to Reduce Comparison Stress in Practical Ways
We cannot disconnect from social media completely these days but we can always manage the ways in which we interact with it.
1. Practice Mindfulness and Gratitude
Always be grateful for what you have. Remind yourself of the various blessings that you have and insist on being thankful for what you have rather than belittling your blessings for what someone else seems to have on the internet. Psychology tells us that appreciating the blessing that one has directly reduces stress and improves moods.
2. Redefine Your Holiday Goals
As the season turns around the corner, make sure you write down the expectations that you have and a list of things that you want to get done during the holidays. Familymind can be really helpful in doing this and will also keep reminding you to do them along the way.
3. Set Realistic Boundaries Around Celebrations
Learn to say “no” when you don’t feel the best. Decline events that don’t align with who you are. Societal expectations shouldn’t define your choices. Set your boundaries and stand by them.
Turning Holiday Pressure Into Presence
When you create a Christmas that you have defined based on your values and not affected by pressures from social media, society or friends, you will feel a joy you have never felt before, experience better satisfaction and feel more content. This will all happen due to choices you have made and not by accident.
Now you will have a Christmas that is not curated by social media feeds but by your own decisions. That is a Christmas worth remembering for years to come.
Creating a Christmas that matches your reality means shedding the pressure to perform and embracing the joy of being. And that shift doesn’t happen by accident—it happens by choice.
That’s the kind of Christmas worth remembering.
Start Here: Build a Holiday Season That Feels Like You
👉 Download familymind here and use it to plan traditions, organize tasks, set boundaries, and stay grounded in what matters most to your family—not what you scroll past online.
