Every single December brings a ton of responsibility because of the holiday and festive season. Your checklist now rolls all the way down to the floor from your hand and it’s filled with meals, gifts and so many other expectations from your family and friends. For parents, especially mothers, this is more than just a busy routine. It takes a lot of mental effort to make sure that all checkboxes have been listed and also completed. Coordinating everything singlehandedly is not easy at all.
This responsibility held up by parents is what keeps everything running and in place but it takes a toll on them mentally until everything gets done. The constant thought of needing to remember everything is what makes festive and holiday seasons feel twice as heavy.
Research shows that the toll on your cognitive capabilities as parents goes up by almost 70% during festive seasons as unaccounted invisible tasks go up by 40%. It also shows that mothers take up more of the load when it comes to planning gift lists, meals, activities, and kids. Almost double the amount of load that father takes on during the same season.
In this article, we will explore different reasons why festive seasons bring so much load and how we can lighten this load with tools like familymind and enjoy holidays the way they were meant to be.
What Is the Invisible Mental Load and Why Does It Spike at Christmas?
The increase in invisible tasks that we mentioned earlier doesn’t have anything to do with physical work. It is the mental load you take on when you sit to think and plan everything beforehand. This is generally referred to as “cognitive,” and it keeps running in your mind long before any of the tasks are even due.
When Christmas holidays turn the corner, as an example, this type of thinking spikes as you start thinking about Christmas dinner, school concerts, visits from family, wrapping gifts, decorations, travel plans, etc., while knowing that everyone seems to expect you to have the answers before anyone even asks.
Research shows that these cognitive tasks largely fall on the shoulders of women a lot more than men, making Christmas and other holidays feel like a sudden landslide of expectations and responsibilities for women. As these cognitive and physical responsibilities start to pile up, the burden starts to affect relationships as well.
Why Christmas Planning Is Gendered
Even when we look at families where both parents are working full time, data shows that women still carry most of the burden of these “invisible tasks” that we discussed above. All the way from remembering everyone’s preferences to calculating everyone’s schedules to find the best available time for events. Fathers are often seen focusing on visible physical work, while mothers do the physical as well as the mental labor.
When holidays arrive, this mental labor intensifies and takes a toll on the well-being of mothers as a whole. Many women report that their mental labor during these festive and holiday seasons goes unnoticed and unaccounted for since no one can see it.
Examples of Invisible Holiday Tasks
Here are some examples of what causes the mental load:
- Thinking ahead about what everyone will want or need
- Checking and updating calendars so everything stays in line
- Knowing food needs with dietary preferences and allergies
- Coming up with gift ideas, buying them and delivering them
- Negotiating changes when plans shift at the last minute
None of these are visible until they’re done and the worst part is that they take a lot of mental energy and emotional labor to manage.
How “familymind” Makes the Invisible Visible
One of the main reasons why this mental load feels so heavy is because over time it starts building up in your head. If there is no system that takes it off of your hands and writes it down, it will have the effects we discussed above.
That’s where familymind steps in. It helps you by creating a simple coordination module between you and your family through shared features. These features, like a shared calendar, meal planner, and grocery and gift lists, all help you manage and keep track of everything in real time. Through its embedded AI, familymind learns patterns and makes amazing helpful suggestions over time. This way, you can stop worrying about organizing tasks and instead start getting them done.
Here are a few ways familymind helps reduce the unseen stress:
- Shared calendars keep all activities in one place.
- Shared shopping and gift lists make sure everyone knows what’s pending.
- Meal planning tools help you plan your meals in advance.
- Reminders and alerts help you stop worrying about remembering everything.
- Task sharing and visibility allow everyone to participate so that you don’t have to handle every task yourself.
Instead of having to carry the mental burden alone, familymind can help your family reconnect and share responsibilities and get ready for those Christmas holidays as a strong team.
Practical Ways to Lighten the Load This Christmas
Here are a few suggestive changes you can make in your household now that familymind is your trusted friend.
1. Tell familymind what you are thinking
Stop holding holiday details in your head. Put everything into familymind calendars, grocery lists, meal plans, and reminders. When it’s written down and shared, your family can work towards getting it done as a team.
2. Assign Tasks Clearly
Instead of hoping someone in your family will take care of certain tasks, assign tasks to specific people in familymind and let the system remind them. When responsibilities are visible, sharing becomes planned, and everyone can be appreciated for what they do.
3. Use Shared Meal Planning
Holiday meal planning is a huge source of stress. Schedule meals and groceries in familymind so everyone knows the plan and can help.
4. Turn Routine into Teamwork
Holiday planning doesn’t have to be a solo job. With familymind, even your kids can help track items, check off lists, or manage a part of the schedule.
5. Review Together
Once a week, make sure you sit down with your partner and kids to review tasks and calendars in familymind. It turns planning into a family conversation, not a mental burden you carry alone.
Why This Matters Beyond the Holidays
Reducing your mental load doesn’t mean that you are doing less and having an easier time. It is about accomplishing everything you have in your mind and more but not alone. Rather, do it all with your family. The load will only get to you if you are carrying it all alone. Make sure that your family knows everything that is in your head through tools like familymind. A family that knows itself internally works hand in hand to take care of everyone’s needs. Paint the invisible work with familymind, make it visible and transform your family into your team.
Our end goal is not achieving perfection. It’s a partnership among all members, knowing what each person did and making them feel appreciated, valued and cared for in the true spirit of the Christmas season.
Ready for a Calmer, Shared Holiday?
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